Furthermore, there is so much to tell you guys and I actually had to use a pad this time to write down everything because there are such huge gaps between each installment and I have to get better at that. Well first off I’ve been living with a couple for the past 5 months and in the beginning it was pretty cool they seemed very nice and welcoming. In actuality the guy came off as a complete douchebag and I have no remorse in saying that. I didn’t let it bother me because all I was thinking about was my goals I have and recording my next project so I said “ screw it”. I kept to myself and barely was ever home anyway, and when I was I wrote or recorded and just planned. Let me jump off and say that my next project “Heart on paper chronicles 2” is a classic. Ok now back to the subject at hand; within those five months the couple had several fights and the guy beat his girlfriend so bad! What sucked is that there was nothing I could do because I couldn’t see bruises on her face, but every time they argued in there room I could hear thumps, gagging, and blood curdling screams! And when they would see me, the girl would just stare at me or laugh nervously as if she wanted to say something or make light of it. I was so disturbed by this I didn’t know what to do and it sat on my heart like weights to a chest. The sad part is that’s not even the tip of the iceberg, there’s a climax to this situation! About five days ago I was woken up by the loudest thumps and screams it was unreal, and let me just say it sucked because it was the first night I actually fell asleep at a decent time and on the way to 5 or 6 hours of sleep. It was about 3:30 am and the fighting was so loud and I hear the girl saying “I hate you leave me alone!” Following that is “You ruined my life!” and just screams and thumps followed by bangs. So I go out of my room and see her run to another room and the guy follows aggressively and I peek in the room and see him hovered over her and yelling and every time he does she screams as she’s in the fetal position! I go back in my room and fall asleep for ten minutes and its even louder and she’s gagging this time and crying and I yell “what the fuck?!” and he storms out “were fighting if you don’t like it leave tomorrow!!” My first reaction was to knock him out for talking to me this way but then I said to myself “It’s not worth going to jail with all that you have at stake, and then bro he will call the cops and blame the whole incident on you, and the cops will take you because you’re the nigro!!” So I left it alone and talked to God for the next couple of days to find a solution to this issue. Within those days God answered as my best friend said it was ok for me to crash till New York is over(now im the roomate permanently), as I have my big show In New York city on the 30th of the month. He knew that this show is so big for us and just wanted things to be cool so I could get my mind right and not put too much stress on myself. God is a great God I have to say because he has been looking out for me. I was feeling like some of my plans leading up too New York was fizzling out. As there was a really nice realtor I met at Starbucks who executive produced a Tupac Shakur greatest hits album. He listened to my first project and wanted to help anyway he could. So he had planned to buy myself and Erix’s tickets for support. Three- weeks later He comes back and tells me he can’t do it because of his business going through legal issues and can’t really shell out anything because of the complications. From his facial expression I could tell he was telling the truth and he felt extremely bad.
As I had come to terms with this it got even harder because I’m like man with rent and cell phone and not having any songwriting opportunities and along with having a job I hate I’m like “all hell” things have gotten a million times more serious! But through all of this chaos and pressure God never faulted. I went into a woman’s office at the Grand building where My God-sisters gym is and wanted a reading as I felt that these dark forces were really pushing hard and I was losing strength and tons of sleep fighting them. She told me that God was calling me and wanted me to come back to him. As she said this I knew it was real because I was not really letting him lead the way in my life like I should. I was holding a grudge against him for years because of all I have been through in my life especially last year. She mentioned the spiritual battles I have fought and am continuing to fight and how there is a humongous calling on my life and how these forces don’t want me to live. As she was telling me this I’m like man this woman (whom I will continue to keep secret) is very gifted as I had not told her one single word about my life I just came in and said I wanted some help and she just went in with my life!!! She said she wanted to be my advisor and that I didn’t have to pay she just wanted to be involved because I really needed help. So I had started doing counseling sessions and getting scriptures to read and it’s funny because I grew up in church as my grandfather and dad are pastors and this activity with my advisor seemed ten times more real and genuine than one day in my families churches!!! My mother who also has her doctorate in Theology told me for years that most organized religion was rehearsed behavior which is very true.
On this day of July 23rd 2012 which is a Monday, Its 4 days until I leave for New York to perform in front of the quote un-quote big wigs in the music industry and I’m excited man because I truly believe in my Heavenly father and in this vision of "PurpleandStars" he has given me. I just think back to this time last year and I was nowhere as strong as I am now mentally and spiritually. I was baker-acted into the mental hospital for attempted suicide and not taking my medication, diagnosed again (confirmation) with Bi-polar disorder and no money. I had given up on my dream of entertainment and was in there drugged up every day on meds barely able to function. I would sit in there and wonder “where do I go from here?” I mean I looked at everything as it was over, because the year before that I was jumped and beaten to a pulp outside of a bar all for nothing!! I couldn’t see any light but through all of that Jesus Christ was right there beside me, giving me grace and embedding a vision again and really putting "Purpleandstars" in my heart and with this I will not quit as I stand for helping people and kids as I chase his dream and Mine and I end this as “Never quit” and I truly love you and God as well.
Cody Tyler signing off
